advice girl

Can I keep my boyfriend from breaking up?

Dear Advice Girl,

My boyfriend and I have been dating off and on for 2 years. He breaks up with me over the smallest things, then 3 months later we're back together. We just split up again 'cause he says I'm smothering him and he needs his space.

What can I do to get him to have a relationship with me? How do I convince him? What do I say?

Signed,
Angela

Dear Angela,

If a guy tells you that he needs his space, well...it's probably a good idea to give him his space. He definitely doesn't want a serious relationship (at least not with you), and nothing you say or do is gonna change that.

It's harsh, but it's true. You can't magically make a guy want to be your boyfriend. Especially one who's proven to you over and over that he's not ready to commit.

If he comes back you in a while and makes it clear that he's for real this time, then it's okay give him another chance. But don't wait up for him.

Love,
The Advice Girl

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What users are saying...

i dont like when guys do that to you
megamee, 16, Little Sioux, IA

my ex boyfriend does that to me all the time...it pisses me off
sexiibitches22, 15, Milton, PA

oh my gosh.. same problem with mine huhhuhuhuh
langga4me, 19, Philippines

If this guy keeps breaking up with you and then comes back again break up with him and see what its like dating someone else
hannahgrace__x, 17, Australia

Question: why on EARTH would you want to MAKE a guy stay when he does not love you the way you love him? I know people say you can't force someone to love you. I agree. But moreover, WHY would you force someone to love you? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who didn't break up with your every few months over trivial matters? Do you think that's a sign that he's happy with you? You deserve someone who loves you. So wait for that. Don't settle for less. But remember this: don't smother your boyfriends. Don't smother anyone, in fact. If this guy has told you he needs space, you're probably being clingy. And that's very unattractive. Even the right guy who'll love you genuinely and eternally will get turned off if you smother him, and he'll need "space." Why put that strain on any relationship, right? (don't worry, I'm not criticizing you. Most people tend to cling when they're in love. You have to make a conscious effort not to.) Learn from your past mistakes, and work towards making that One great relationship magical.
the_morrigan, 17, Moraga, CA

thats insane... what normal person would do that?!? i think that if the guy really loved u you would have been together all those years and not going off and on because of "crowding"... I would like to think that us guys don't need space... that we just like to have maybe a weekend to ourselves or to go out with our guy friends and just **** about once in a while... lol then agian everyone is different...
ironclad109, 19, Birmingham, AL

First off they're tons of fishes and this crazy ocean and if you stick with that one you'll never catch another one! Just go your seperate ways in the end it'll pay off!
libby57, 15, Blackshear, GA

if he needs space, and hes constantly breaking up with you, and then getting back with you, hes not really worth you time. but if you don't want to give up on him, make him work harder to get back with you. if it takes a lot of effort, he will break up with you less.
jaekenderlee, 17, Rossland, BC