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Is It Bad to Flirt With Your Ex?

Dear Advice Girl,

My ex-boyfriend is dating my best friend, but I still flirt with him all the time. I know it's wrong, but I can't help it! What should I do?

Signed,
Sexy Me

Dear Sexy Me,

It's pretty clear that you're not totally over your ex-boyfriend yet. Part of you still feels that you have a right to flirt with him, since you used to be so close.

But you don't. Flirting is only going to confuse your ex and upset your friend (and you, too, as a matter of fact).

Get over him already and you won't feel the need to act all flirty. Limit the contact that you have with him, and start thinking about other guys you might wanna crush on.

And if your find yourself in a situation where you're forced to hang out with your ex, then have some self control. Being friendly and smiling is okay. Getting touchy-touchy is not.

Love,
The Advice Girl

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What users are saying...

You will never "know" unless you try. Why is he with your friend anyway, to get back at you for something you did? Did you allow your friend to date him? What's up?!?! Get what YOU want, but know your boundaries & consequences.
trevorhudson, 21, Pierrefonds, QC

Damn this is wrong on two notes. 1. He's dating your best friend, wtf is with that stupid shit? & 2. Yes, it is terribly wrong for numerous reasons. Easy answer, DONT DO IT. i did it and it ends badly. Trust me
emiliexo, 15, Everett, WA

you cant always get over an ex but just keep ur distance and he will keep his or slap him and he will never come near you again
farmchic23, 13, Ferndale, MI

I say HELL YES it's bad
lizziepandaapple, 14, Anaheim, CA

I disagree, partially. I agree on: "You're not totally over your ex." "You feel as if you have a right to flirt with him." "You don't have a right to flirt with him. "Flirting is going to confuse your ex, yourself, and upset your friend." Now, to the rest of it. How much do you care about him? If you care about him a lot, then wait for your friend and him to not work out, if that's how you feel. But until then, you do need to limit the contact you have, and you need to be his friend. In this time period, if other guys catch your eyes, don't be afraid to open up. Just don't let him go if he's someone you really care about.
scottiefromshs, 15, Seymour, TN

omg I can't stress to you enough how I hate the fact that my ex wants me back but he doesn't say it.. what should I do ??
lilhoodboo, 23, Alma, AR

How about if this boy is so cute and he act nice with u but ur friends said he just want to smash n dash
anonymous

wow if ui still like hem let ur frend no an the hole ur bf cant date ur ex is a lie couz my bf is ingaged to 1 of my ex shure she is 19 but they ben to gater for like 3 years an me an my ex just dident click but were good frends still
alleycate, 18, Fall River, MA

y is ur "bff" going out wit ur boyfriend? thats not a true friend =. theres one huge rule with ex's and best friends; they cannot ever date!
h3llokittii, 14, Long Branch, NJ

sorry i messed up wronge on ... now that is messed up that ur friednd would do that to u.. wow what a friend ..she isnt a real frined if she would do that .. and it anit a bad thing thast ur are firtin with ur ex ..and plus if u ask me she gets what is comeing to her..
dertoitbeyahh93, 16, Berlin, NH

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