I have a crush on an imaginary guy!

Dear Advice Girl,

This guy I’ve had a crush on for a long time has been choosing between me and this other girl for as long as I can remember. It’s always been back and forth between me and her. I finally got sick of it and made up an imaginary guy (someone that no one would ever find out was fake) that I told everyone I liked. My crush found out, and now he barely ever talks to me. It’s like if I don’t like him, then we can’t be friends.

It’s been driving me crazy. I miss the way things used to be, but I don’t know what to say to him because I don’t really know what the problem is. Any suggestions?

Signed,
   Hanna

Dear Hanna,

Honestly? Between the two guys – your longtime crush and your imaginary friend – you’re better off with Mr. Doesn’t Even Exist. He’s always there when you need him, he never smells bad and, most importantly, he doesn’t play games with you.

Your real-life crush? Not so much. He was only interested in you as long as he could balance between you and his other girl, ‘cause it made him feel like a total stud. When you took that away from him, he got bored. He never really wanted to be your boyfriend. It’s time to forget him.