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How do I stop crushing on my friend?

Dear Advice Girl,

I like my friend, but he has a girlfriend. Everyone says I need to get over him. How do I get over him and still see him every day?

Signed,
   Alyssa

Dear Alyssa,

You can’t.

I repeat: you cannot get over a person whom you see every day.

So if you want to get over this crush, you’re going to need to distance yourself from him. As in: no hanging out with him. No phone calls or IM’s. No quickie text messages when you think of something sooo funny and only he would get it, and one little text message isn’t cheating, is it? Oh, but it is.

If you go to school with him, well, you’ll probably have to see him in class and in the hallways. I am not recommending you come down with a mysterious 2-month “illness” or beg your parents to homeschool you. (That would just be silly.) But try to avoid contact as much as possible. If he talks to you, you’re allowed to be polite – but don’t try to keep the conversation going. It sounds harsh, but it’s the only way to do it.

So, how long should the silent treatment last for? Until you can think about him with no romantic feelings whatsoever. Though you’re not gonna be very good at policing yourself, so you might want to consult some of your pals along the way.

 

Love,
   The Advice Girl


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What users are saying...

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ya that worked for me till i started to hang with her again b/c i thought i was over her but i was wrong
sfsmbf24, 13, Houston, TX
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If you can't make him leave his girlfriend for you, find someone else to crush on. There are plenty of fish in the sea, most of them really suck & are a waste of time & money, but you gotta keep hoping & searching.
trevorhudson, 21, Pierrefonds, QC
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its super hard for me to get over my crush cause he just happens to be my best friend i dated for three months and i love him to death :/ it dont go away and it sucks
kelli_ann15, 15, Hostetter, PA
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tht helps alot thnks
dezi567, 19, Uvalde, TX
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yehh...
xxxcore3xxx, 16, St Theresa Point, MB
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i just truly hope you can do it cause it already happen to me and it almost killed me to death because of the pain!!!!!!! and believe me its going to be a hard process it takes a long process,,,,,,ugh
princessyoung83, 33, Philippines
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ugh i have the same issue. theres this girl i lyke but she dont like girls but i like her ALOTTT. Shes all i thnk about. but i see her at school and shes sooo nice to me so its hard. i just wanna be like "stop bein so nice and sweet, its killing me!"
bimbou, 14, Roselle, NJ
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I don't think doing this is a good idea unless you want to lose a friend. I have the same problem, and am still figuring out how to deal with it, but for now I am happy just to spend time with him and I manage to act normally and be myself with him. If you ignore and avoid them, you may get over your crush, but lose their friendship.
anonymous
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It's hard to stop crushing, especially if you ahve to see that person everyday. I agree with the advice given. Try to distance your self but be polite when you need to talk. try hanging out with the girls and try finding someone new to crush on. x
raaand0merrx, 15, United Kingdom
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OMG i have a friend w. the same problem she stills speaks w. the guy i hate him w all my guts he is such an asshole! this will help me w my friend!
emr_892, 17, Miami Beach, FL

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