He wants to be friends with benefits!

Dear Advice Girl,

One of my best guy friends and I are really close. We’ve passed the line of “just friends” and I like him. I’ve heard he likes me, but I’m not sure. That’s not the problem though. The problem is that he DOESN’T DATE! He only does “friends with benefits” because his last girlfriend hurt him bad and he doesn’t want it to happen again.

I’ve tried to talk him out of it, but he doesn’t want to date. I really like him though. Should I move on or just stay friends with benefits so I can have him?

Signed,
   Stacy

Dear Stacy,

Friends with benefits is a very delicate proposition. It only works when you don’t think that the guy is relationship material and you’re only looking for someone to make out with. (And even then, you’re putting your reputation on the line – and scaring away guys you might actually want to date).

If you try a FWB deal with a guy you actually like, it’ll end in heartbreak. I guarantee it. You’ll pretend to be okay with just making out, but secretly it’ll kill you that he won’t be romantic, that he won’t tell his friends about you, that he’ll flirt with other girls and you have no right to complain. And then you’ll beg him to be your bf, and he’ll keep refusing (‘cause why should he commit? He’s getting exactly what he wants), and you’ll wish you had listened to me in the first place.

So basically, Stacy, avoid FWB like the plague. It’s cool that he still needs time to recover from his last girlfriend, but that recovery time doesn’t need to involve getting to first base. My advice: stick to being friends with him (for now). Let him know your feelings – but be clear that you’re not the type of girl who dishes out her “benefits” without commitment.