advice girl
Dear Advice Girl,
Do you have any advice on how to kiss?
Signed,
Smoocher
Dear Smoocher,
Boy, there's a lot written about kissing … from the how to, step by step, Time-Life Books explanations on what to do and when to do it (which if you ask me are downright creepy) to the bizarre. Check this out:
Take your hand make a shape like you were going to pull the trigger on a gun. Place the tip of your index finger (the tip = the joint farthest from you hand ) under her chin and lift her head to your mouth.
Guns and kissing in the
same paragraph? Let's see … guns are scary, kissing is scary, Charlton
Heston is good with guns and good with kissing … okay, I get it.
In spite of what most advice givers will claim, there is no real way to tell someone how to kiss. This is one thing that is learned by doing - not reading - so in spite of my incredible experience and considerable qualification in this area, I can't tell you exactly what to do.
But since you asked, here are a few pointers:
1. Do not attempt a kiss if you can taste anything other than minty freshness.
2. Do not engulf your partner's face with your open mouth. Here's a good rule of thumb - if you can see your partner's ears, pull back! If your lips are parted more than tongue's width you've crossed a line.
3. Do not bite anything - unless you're both into that sort of thing.
4. Do not slobber - if you need to spit, you must quit. Swallow … don't think about it … just do it.
5. You've got hands - use 'em, but make sure you keep them in an acceptable zone, so to speak. Think gentle hug position.
For those of you who respond well to more practical applications … kissing has a lot of similarities to enjoying a soft serve ice cream. Keep it slow, gentle and varied.
