How to give a hickey!

Dear Advice Girl,

How do you give a hickey?

Signed,
   Jack

Dear Jack,

Before I tell you how to give a hickey, let me first say this:

Don't give hickeys.

I know you will anyway, just to see what it's like. So do it on your own arm or something. But don't give a hickey to another person if they didn't ask for one. It hurts, and despite all the rumors floating around the internet, there's no way to get rid of it besides waiting it out.

Got it? Good. Okay, here's how to do it:

1. Put your mouth on their skin, lips slightly open. The best spots to leave marks are where the skin is thin, like their neck or forearm.
   
   
2. Suck. No teeth. Just suck. The suction is slowly breaking your sweetie's blood vessels and creating a bruise. (Romantic, right?)
   
   
3. Let go and wait a couple minutes. The spot will be red no matter what. If it fades away, you didn't do it hard enough. If it sticks around, congratulations. You've just given a hickey.