I'm afraid my BF's gonna start smoking!

Dear Advice Girl,

I’ve been going out with this guy for about a month. He’s sweet and funny and I really like him but...................

His best friend smokes and has a bad home life. I’m afraid that if this keeps going on he might smoke too. Should I tell him to stop hanging out with his friend or what?

Signed,
   Katie

Dear Katie,

Smoking is gross, but it's got nothing to do with your relationship. Neither do the things going on at your guy’s friend’s house. So why are you obsessing? Are you really afraid for your guy’s well-being, or are you just uncomfortable with other stuff – like the fact that his friends aren't people you'd choose as friends? Or maybe you want an excuse to keep your guy all to yourself.

We need to talk boundaries here, Katie. It’s okay to tell your guy’s friend not to smoke around you, and it’s okay to tell him you think smoking is lame. It's also okay to never date smokers, ever. And it’s definitely okay to talk to your guy about how much you care about him, and to help him make the right choices.

But you’re not allowed to tell your guy who he can’t hang out with. (Unless his friend is a wanted criminal or something.) Quit it with the “I-must-save-you-from-this-demon” bit and relax a little. Enjoy your boyfriend for the cool, sweet, funny guy he is.